Mary Werner
Mary Werner, TFP Mother
“A mother’s love has no boundaries and we can make it our lives work to continue to parent them and love them even if we can’t see them or physically be with them.”
Q. WHO ARE YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS AND WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
A. I live about an hour outside of Chicago in Michigan City, Indiana on the shores of Lake Michigan. I am a wife to my husband Bob and the mother of two. My first-born daughter Sinéad Philomena lived for 90 days before she died unexpectedly due to Necrotizing enterocolitis. We welcomed her little brother MacKenzie “Mac” into our family in 2019. He is now 18 months old.
Q. HOW DID YOU FIRST HEAR ABOUT THE FINLEY PROJECT AND WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO GET INVOLVED AS A SUPPORT COORDINATOR?
A. In the early weeks of my loss, I was completely devastated and searching for anything, anyone who could relate to me. My husband and I escaped to Mexico for a month and it was on that trip that I scoured the internet for resources and landed on the Finley Project’s website. I believe that it was divine intervention and I immediately wrote my application and submitted it. Last fall, almost 3 years after the death of my daughter I felt this tug on my heart to give back to moms who were now in that exact same place I stood just a few years before. I have been so honored to serve two mothers in the program so far. I plan to continue this work, the work of our children, in some way, shape, or form for as long as I live.
Q. WHAT IS ONE WORD OF ADVICE THAT YOU TELL YOUR MOMS THAT YOU ARE SUPPORTING?
A. I always want my moms to know that they were, and still are, the BEST mother to their sons and daughters. Their love for their child is unlike any other and extends far beyond our physical life here on Earth. A mother’s love has no boundaries and we can make it our lives work to continue to parent them and love them even if we can’t see them or physically be with them.
Q. DO YOU HAVE A SCRIPTURE/QUOTE/BOOK/OR SONG THAT HAS ENCOURAGED YOU LATELY?
A. My favorite quote- “Do not resent growing old. Many are denied the privilege” - an Irish proverb 3 of my favorite books I highly recommend reading: When Bad Things Happen To Good People by Harold Kushner, You Are The Mother of All Mothers by Angela Miller, and I Will Carry You by Angie Smith
Q. WHAT IS SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT YOU OR WOULD BE SURPRISED TO LEARN?
A. I’m a labor and delivery nurse in Chicago and I chose this specialty after my daughter’s death in hopes that I could help women and families through the best days and the hardest days of their life. Prior to her death, I was a pediatric cancer care nurse but I knew that if I returned to nursing after my loss, I would need to feel purpose and a connection to my daughter in my work. Now at work, I get to care for and advocate for women during one of the biggest moments of their lives. My daughter’s life and death give me a different lens into the realities of pregnancy and infant loss and I believe it allows me to truly and wholly care for pregnant women in a special way that I wouldn’t have been able to without having gone through the death of a child. I like to think Sinéad guides me at work and she certainly gives me the courage to help others even in my own times of grief.
