Melissa Hunter
Melissa Hunter, TFP Mother
“You will have hard days. But just know that you have a team of family and friends who will lift you up through those hard days.”
Q: Where are you located and when was your loss?
A: Topeka, Kansas, 2/3/21
Q: Tell us your story of love and loss
A: At 19 weeks pregnant I found out my baby’s heart had a different anatomy set up. They didn't think the left side of her heart was developed and that the right side didn't have a very big vessel. So they sent us to a specialist in Topeka who then sent us to Children's Mercy in Missouri. There, they also found out she had something called the Vein of Galen (very rare). They thought they could take care of us up until I was 32 weeks pregnant when they brought in the end of care life to talk to us. We didn't care for that so we asked them to send our files to other doctors around the United States and Boston Children's called us the next day.
At my 33 week appointment, we knew we were going to Boston the following week (because it was the week after Christmas). And that's when they found out she had hydrops. Children's Mercy didn't want us to get on a commercial plane so they set up a private jet for us to fly to Boston the next day (December 23rd). There that's when I found out I had something called mirror syndrome, it was causing me huge amounts of pain and to gain over 80lbs in weight. I was measuring as a 53-week pregnant woman. Once we got to Boston on December 24th they tried to perform surgery while Blake was still in the womb. However, it didn't work. My water broke and that’s when my health started to decline.
We had our sweet girl on December 25th around 4:30 in the morning. After that, she was rushed to the NICU at Boston Children's. There she went through 3 brain surgeries and 1 open heart surgery and she made it through all of them flawlessly. Her body however just couldn't take to the surgery as it needed. The doctors up in Boston gave us 40 days with our sweet girl, more than anyone else would have given us. The outcome is not how we planned but the doctors learned from our Blake and I know one day that will help another mom not go through this pain. I got a Christmas baby last year and nothing can change that.
Q: What's the best thing someone said to you in the midst of your grief?
A: Her heart doctor came in after she had passed and unknown to us he had lost his daughter just a few months before and he said "I'm not afraid to die anymore because I know she is up there waiting for me".
Q: If you had advice for a new grieving mom, what would it be?
A: You will have hard days. But just know that you have a team of family and friends who will lift you up through those hard days.
Q: How has The Finley Project helped you during your time of grief?
A: They are helping me get my life back on track.
